Winnie's been travelling

Winnie’s back feeling great and a little less podgy around the middle, this strawberry slim is great shame it doesn’t taste or look like honey, but still have to keep fighting of the bees and do save some for later by spilling it on my paws so I can lick it off later.

I tried to play with Eeyore and Piglet this week but they wouldn’t join in with me, instead they watched people pass out on parade (obviously they didn’t get enough honey and became weak). When I feel like I have no energy I take that UltraShot boost, but made the mistake of giving one to Tigger, he bounced all night and he didn’t even fall asleep – have to remember to only give it to him when he needs to keep going just like a copper topped battery.

I went back to West Minster and saw a lot of new people doing the diet workout of chasing their tails great fun to watch but same old after a while. One of the ney people Camon (sounds like Piglets uncle Gammon) got a new auto-mobile (I thought that mobiles only hung over the bed but this one moves) funny colour looks like he left it out in the rain and it has faded – never mind sure he will get a new one soon. Very surprised to see that none of his friends with the flashing bikes were playing with him, but then maybe his daddy stopped his pocket money so couldn’t buy sweeties for everyone.

On my way back from West Minster saw loads of Christopher’s groups going to watch the final cup, so went along saw some more people who must be dieting also as they were running around. Some fell over and started crying. When they cried their daddy came over rubbed their knee with a magic sponge, took all the pain away and they continued running. They all ended up with the final cup think it was full of Honey but didn’t share it (heard someone say something else a Russian bought for them).

I read in my daily comic that Mr Fayed sold his corner shop, wonder if Arkwright and Granville will keep it open all hours in case I run out of Honey.

Well I’m sleepy and must go to bed.

NIGHT NIGHT!!!!

Look I'm shrinking

After getting stuck in the door on voting day Winnie has decided he needs to lose weight:

1. Because I am so big it was embarrassing that I made people miss out on voting especially as I am told they have been asking to do if for a long time and:
2. Because since I got stuck in the doorway I hurt my back and have been in constant pain.

The pain from voting day has been eased in 2 ways firstly because my good friend the wise old owl sent him a TSE Actwell pain machine that de-stressed the back and also by the pain that I had been suffering finally leaving on Monday evening after being given a helping hand by the good Queen.

Winnie also asked Eeyore how could I lose weight and was surprised to be given another two ideas.

The first was to take the new Strawberry slim vitamin drink from Actwell that seems to be OK as it tastes really great almost as good as Honey. 

The second idea seems very energetic for a poor old bear and that is to go to a place called West Minster (not sure what it is west of – possibly neverland) and then chase my tail just like all the others are. This sounds like fun but worried me because it means I will never have time to work and get any real answers.

It would be just a waste of time.

So you can see I am a very confused poor little bear! Can someone else please guide me as my new friends at West Minster don’t seem to have any better ideas than my old friends?

They, alas seem to have disappeared (obviously chasing their own tails so much that they have run out of ideas and seem to have disappeared in an instant – strange for them they never normally move that fast).

Think I will probably just go to sleep, dreaming of Honey and wake up in 4-5 years when things have eased.

Night Night 

Christopher and friends

So tired. Too much news. Too little brain.

I haven't heard any laughter recently. The Wood is in uproar since Winnie got stuck in the Polling Station door and the rest of us couldn't vote. Vote rigging at it's worst, or more likely honey swigging got him too rotund. Anyway nobody now knows who is friends with who and Owl is contemplating.

We have just been told that Winnie has said sorry about the honey crisis, but wants to help find more honey, to help us all then, pass the task of honey management to some else. I don't really understand as Winnie has just asked ME to hand over some of My honey so that he can give it to the Forest Union. How am I going to make my friends happy if I don't have honey. I am fed up. Going to hide somewhere as I don't understand anything anymore.

Just received a scroll from my quill pal, Robin the Hoodie.

"Dear Donkey

I hope this finds you. If it doesn't please don't read on. News from the Forest has become boring. Not heard about Simon Cow or Maid Cole or anything interesting for days. Triar has taken to hitting the flowers that are coming out. Then eating them. His eyes are looking very scary. Peasants remain revolting despite me giving them all the stuff we've knicked. They say they find the coins very difficult to cook and eat. Can't please them.

I'll write again when I've got more cheer to tell you.

Keep you tail up

Robbing Rob"

Bye

I don't know what to vote for!

It is a bit of a no-brainer, which is something I am very familiar with, to say that the elections here in our neck of the woods is heating up to freezing point. The present incumbent, Winnie, has been warning us of a cold wind - never stand down wind of any poohlitician is my advice - blowing through the honey stores in days to come. What has he been doing with all the honey. He says that there has been a wood wide depression which has made most of the honey to disappear into the jars of people, or something like that, who sold off non-existent honey to would be bears somewhere outside the wood. A load of baloney. We know where the honey went. Into Someone's Tummy Somewhere!

So let me get back to the election. Winnie has not been having a good time. First he has said that he has saved the wood from a honey shortage, but then he says we have to tighten our belts and live on dilute honey.

Then when outside the wood, he called someone called Mrs Buffy a biglet. This offended Piglet very much because he says that as Winnie's best friend, any mention of his name outside the wood, is not friendly. Winnie has been trying to soothe Piglet with promises of honey and claiming he misheard Mrs Biffy when she said 'flocking". But I digress and must eat grass and honey, but without the honey - I am leaving that with some nice folk from Goldmen Sucks - Owl said beware of such behaviour, but Owl doesn't understand the nature of the Eeyoreconomics of Honey.

Must dash, no tread lightly away as my poor hooves are tired.

Chocolate. Good or Bad. Come here Roo......

Eeyore is easily confabulated. Science and the like, except MY FRIEND, Mr Higgs-Boson, who is too small to throw me into the river, though I am told he has a violent temper when he and his family are thrown together, are too troublesome for someone who's head has ears to support. So imagine my gob being smacked when I read about being glum. What do they know about being glum! Try being the thing my ears hang off; no try being my tail, or even the bits in between.

I have good news, especially if you are a rat in water, though it does not mention water rats. Chocolate makes a higher class of double barrelled rat swim faster.

So Roo is a bit like a rat, three letters you see, and it so happened that I had some chocolate on me, people do throw the strangest things, and I gave him said chocolate and oops - he fell in the water. What I didn't think of was the relative weight of chocolate to Roo . Unfortunately, well you can guess the rest.

Pope Scandal. It wasn't me states Eeyore

 Do not use tar or onions on your member. It could make you cry!

The last time I used a condom was when Roo blew one up when he thought it was a balloon. It had CR not Benedickt embroidered on it. I then painted it to resemble a twig, and tried to beat Christopher Robin at Pooh Sticks. Unluckily for me it went backwards, blown by the wind, and then went bang as it hit a thorn bush.

I did not, however, write to ask Pope, or was it Pooh, for his blessing of the idea, nor did I ask him for advice on how to prevent more Tiggers. Owl has been more helpful in that regard and has shown me a magazine with lots of guns in it, but I couldn't find one with room for my hooves, so I left it at CR's house with a hint "Beware Tiggers, see page 9".

I have beaten CR and Pooh at Sticks with my new invention which is two sticks knotted together with some of my tail, thanks again to Owl and Roo, in the form of a cross. I did tell Pope, or was it Pooh, what I had done; I was told that under the rules that my entry was not a stick, but in fact two sticks and a bit of bum hair, so I was disqualified.

Then they threw me in to get their sticks! Mine was so fast that I couldn't catch it.

Unfortunately, oh dear, their sticks were broken in the rescue, so I thought up a new rule. This is the Post Race Inspection of Stick, which meant that they were disqualified as their one sticks had become two sticks. So there. Eeyore is not stupid, just sad, very sad.

A bit of history on Omega 3

How pain and depression may be linked

My good friend Winnie is staring into the internet at present muttering to himself about something called Omega fish oils and depression. First things first why do fish need oil; they seem slippery enough whenever I am thrown in the stream. And what is depression but the holes that I fall into sometimes, occasionally landing on Heffalump.

Two people stand out in the link between Psychiatry and Omega 3 fish oils are Professor Malcolm Peet Dr Malcolm Peet in Pubmed and the late Dr David F Horrobin. Dr David Horrobin in Wikipedia.

We should not forget that new ideas cause great problems to the medical scientific community, as they are not "thinkers" anymore but are more like worker bees making honey and money for someone elses hive.